Those Fickled Fans!

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted something so, sorry for this somewhat long post here. Perhaps I may be in my feelings, but the reaction of the Indianapolis Colt’s fan hurt and bothered me. Peep this:

(1) Andrew Luck replaced Peyton Manning and kept the Colts competitive for about 5 seasons. Their power ranking never went below 18 while Luck was their quarterback, which mean the Colts were a decent to a very good team. The fans praised and celebrated Luck for his abilities and athleticism. The fans loved him!

(2) His O-line allowed him to get hit more than 15 times a game for 5 seasons (minus the designed runs). His injuries were not ALL his fault. Still, the fans loved him!

(3) The fan base KNEW Luck was a hard worker and gave his all and his best even when others felt like he couldn’t give anymore. The fans loved him for this!

(4) On Friday (I think it was) during the Colts preseason game, early in the 1st quarter, the cameras landed on Luck, to which the fans that saw him, began to cheer and clap. Not even an hour later, these same fans, booed him and some even took their Luck jerseys off to denounce Luck, who they found out was going to soon announce his retirement – all within 60 mins!! NOW, the fans hate him! Seriously?!

Here is the life application …… PEOPLE ARE FICKLED! There are “fans” in your life that only applaud for you because you do something directly for them that benefits them or gives them the ability to “speak” in a position of fanaticism. It can be a benefit emotionally, financially, physically, mentally, intellectually and maybe even spiritually. But the moment you do something for yourself (that is to say, you stop doing what tickles their fancy) because you haven’t taken time to heal from the pains of the world properly, they the switch from being your “fan” to joining those who hate you (the enemy) and they then antagonize and belittle you and your character. So, because of this, you are in a vicious circle of hurt, pain and mental and physical exhaustion, all, while you are supposed to “produce” or “entertain” for others, is taxing, both on the body and in your heart. Those people (the fickle fans) are the ones who push people past their limits of kindness to a level of hurt and reserve. Those people (the fickle fans) don’t expect the kind folk to check them, and when they do, they play the victim or worst, they get even meaner and nastier. And honestly, it hurts!

This is not a problem, just within our churches, but it’s a problem in our leadership, our institutions, our establishments and within our friends and family circles. It’s honestly everywhere and it seems to me that as time moves forward, this painful application of verbal abuse has become acceptable while defending yourself and taking care of yourself has become extinct!

Listen to me, because I feel Luck’s pain, we as a people MUST DO BETTER! We as a society MUST DO BETTER! Shoot, I MUST DO BETTER! Being kind is not odd! Treating someone with respect is not being weak! Showing someone sincere and true love and respect is needed in this world! Point blank! Folk, please please please – stop being ugly and let change this world with the LOVE God has shared (and expects for us to share) with others!

Thank you in advance!

– Monte, one who understands Luck’s suffering. I’ve been there and to some degree, I’m there now!

Satan wants your marriage to be torn apart! Don’t. Let. him. FIGHT IT!

I found this draft in my email and I don’t remember why I was writing it or saving it. At the moment of this created draft, I wasn’t married, but I was dating a woman whom I’m married to now! Reviewing the writing, I realize that the same guidance from back then is still applicable to us now! Did you know that Satan prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8), but many times, he probably doesn’t have to do that much. I wonder if sometimes Satan sits back and laughs at us.

Marriage can be extremely messy. As sinners we can do dumb things in marriage—we hurt one another; we make false assumptions and then miscommunicate; we manipulate or say mean things to our spouse; we think less about serving and more about being served. We don’t always follow God’s Word or advice from godly leaders. We put our hopes in the world or each other more than we put hope in God. We don’t need Satan to ruin our marriage. We do plenty of unhelpful things on our own to ruin our marriages. I’m sure Satan enjoys having a front row seat, watching our folly and foolishness.

What is it that he sees between two people who claim to have a love for one another?

The Battlefield of Marriage

1. Spouses live in the flesh and not in the Spirit(Galatians 5).

Picture a fight. You and your spouse are arguing about something big or small; and at just the right moment, you are faced with a decision. It’s the moment that I’ve heard some call the watershed moment—the point at which you pick a path to follow. You can satisfy your sinful flesh or follow the lead of the Spirit. You go down the path of a nasty fight or honor your spouse by admitting your wrong. Which do you typically choose?

2. No sex in the marriage (1 Corinthians 7).

If you are fighting, the last thing you want to do is to be intimate with each other, right? Conflict is a barrier to intimacy in marriage. The two are not one, but two. One of God’s purposes for sex is to foster “oneness” or unity (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 6) in your marriage. Couples who don’t have regular sex are allowing a barrier to coming between them. No sex in marriage means the couples are less unified.

3. A husband is consumed by pornography (1 Thessalonians 4).

This causes him to be distracted by his wife’s beauty. Sometimes he gets drawn in by a pop-up. More often, he simply gives-in to lust (Galatians 5:13) and aggressively pursues it. She discovers it. It quickly shatters trust in the marriage. She is devastated and she asks questions like, “Am I not desirable?” “Why would he look at other women when he has me?” Worst of all, “Is there something fundamentally wrong with me?”

4. Lofty, sky-high expectations.

I’ve seen men crushed under the weight of their wives’ perfectionistic expectations. The husband says things like, “She expects me to be a holy man.” He constantly feels like a failure, and therefore has little to no incentive to actually work at the marriage. She beats him up (verbally, not physically) because (in the words of one spouse I counseled) “nothing else seems to work to get him to do anything.”

5. Nuclear war (Romans 1:28-32).

You go head-to-head every night. You have nasty, mean, tears-evoking, loud-screaming, door-slamming fights. Sometimes it gets physical. And you are weary…very, very wary…because you don’t know how to stop the fights, yet you are tired of dealing with nuclear war every night of your life.

6. Avoidance and withdrawal (Ephesians 4:26-27).

The most basic response to any difficulty is the famous fight or flight response. In marriage, the flight response often looks like avoiding your spouse. Maybe you live in the same house, but you live separate lives. After a fight, you avoid one another rather than doing the hard work of dealing with each other. Or, maybe you hide at work in order to avoid the marriage. You are really good at your job, so you often get praise and affirmation at work, but never at home. Is it any surprise that you like being at work more, especially when the home is a war zone all of the time?

7. Hate speech (James 4:1).

In the heat of conflict, we say things that we all regret. I have a friend who calls this stupid talk. Things come out of my mouth, and the moment it launches from my lips, I regret having said it. I wish I could pull it back and stuff back into my mouth. Sadly, I ignore the maxim, “Not everything that comes to my mind needs to come out of my mouth.”

8. Weak boundaries.

The husband flirts with a woman at work by saying nice things to her. He finds her attractive. He finds ways to go out of his way to encourage her, and sadly, he doesn’t ever demonstrate the same kind of deliberateness with his spouse. There are no physical, immoral interactions, but his verbal affirmations and emotional flirting go beyond what would safely be deemed as platonic. Wives are cable of doing this, too. Often times, in retaliation to the husband’s careless boundaries.

9. Work-idolatry (James 4:4-5).

You love your job and you pour yourself into it, to the detriment of your family. You rationalize, “They need me at work” or “She doesn’t understand the pressure I’m under at work.” If you were honest, you work matters more than your family. You cherish your job more than you do your wife and kids.

10. Lying (Colossians 3:9).

Lying can destroy trust in a marriage. A spouse lies because he is trapped and doesn’t want to have his sin exposed. For example, a husband who has been secretly having an extra-marital affair….of course he is embarrassed for anyone to find out. He is emotionally and spiritually immature—in a word, you married someone with poor character.

Sad, isn’t it, to see so much foolishness? This is the typical battlefield of a bad marriage. This is why we put our hope not in ourselves, but in the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. It is sinners such as these that Jesus came to save (Mark 10:43-45).

Trust God. Let Him do the fighting!

He’s still worthy!

I wish that our church services could be more like the Avengers Endgame movie. The movie had you experience a couple of emotions within a span of three hours. If you watched the movie, I am sure that your emotions caused you to be moved to shed some tears, you celebrated, you cheered, you applaud, you were hurt, you had compassion, sympathy, and empathy; you may even felt the sense of empowerment and sheer joy. Again, you traveled through these different emotions within a three hour period of time, which is possibly the normal time we spend being in church. I believe we, as a Christian community, can do better with connecting with our church members and our community, and I think that Avengers Endgame gave us a template for us to change the dynamics of how we can be impactful wherever our position of “church” (#furturepostalert) is. Interesting enough, as a minister and a current Theology and Psychology student, I often see messages within nature, storylines, life experiences, and movies. After watching Endgame, it happened again. For me, the movie was beyond what my normal mind imagined it was going to be. The movie literally blew my mind and after watching it almost a month ago, I yearn to go see it again! Even though the entire movie was on point, for me the most intriguing and emotional moment for me included my favorite Avenger, Thor.

**** If you have not watched Avengers Endgame, spoilers are revealed below. If spoilers do not bother you, please continue to read on. However, you identify with, read at your own risk ****

In Avengers Infinity Wars, Thor had the opportunity to finish Thanos. But because Thor, son of Odin, King of Asgard, allowed his arrogance and ego to drive him, he literally missed his mark (the arm or the head). Thanos snaps his fingers and half of the human population on earth have been removed. Devastating sets in!

At the beginning of Endgame, Captain Marvel has now been introduced and she, Thor and a couple of other Avengers find out where Thanos is located. Nebula and Tony Stark have been rescued from deep space and now they make their places to go restart their lives by reclaiming the Infinity Stones. They find Thanos. However, Thanos who is extremely weaken now has destroyed the Infinity Stones and nothing can be done. In frustration, this time Thor hit his mark, Thanos’ head and now, depression sets in!

Five years later, the team is barely together and people are handling the pain of failure differently. Thor has taken it the worst. The god of thunder is reigning over New Asgard, now located on earth, with daily drinking, playing video games and self-pity. After a new discovery has lead to new hope, Dr. Hulk and Rocket goes to get Thor, but he is in NO SHAPE – LITERALLY to go fighting and you can tell that Thor no longer seems to be or feel worthy! He still agrees to go back with them to the headquarters. The plan is to retrieve the Infinity stones before Thanos gathers them, snap their fingers and restore order on earth. Thor and Rocket are to go back to the day in the past where Thor loses his mother. He is scared. He is emotional and his feelings are unstable. His mother senses him there and she also realizes that “this” Thor, is not the present Thor. She speaks to Thor and encourages him and because of her actions, Thor’s confidence returns. But before departing back to the future to meet up with the other Avengers and execute the plans they had made, a confidence and reaffirmed Thor holds out his hand. (All Averager fans knows what he is doing) Thor is beckoning his magical hammer. When the hammer arrives at his palm, Thor declares, “I’m still worthy!”

After everything Thor has experienced and after feeling like a complete failure. Alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression, and regret have poisoned his mind where he forgot that he is worthy. All of those negative feelings impacted his mentality and his wellbeing. But that moment when Mjolnir returns to him, something changed within him. So much so, that he embraced his future with sheer joy and sticktoitness and at the end, the game was over!

Moment of Reflection

I can identify with Thor. In fact, I AM THOR!! Imagine that! You are possibly Thor too. Because of mistakes we made, plans we have failed to do or complete, financial burden, not meeting simple life goals, whatever the case is for you and me, life happens and sometimes because we don’t succeed, we become depressed. We feel and acts as if the world is crashing down on us from every angle and we have nothing more to offer or do. We get so stuck in the struggle that it cause us to shift our mentality from positivity to negativity and then, we lose or forget who we are and whose we are. But guess what??


He is Jesus! JESUS is still worthy! He’s worthy to change your situation. He’s worthy to lift you up. He’s worthy to restore you. He’s worthy to comfort you. He’s worthy to keep you – YES! He is STILL worthy to be in your life. No amount if doubt or pains or frustration could ever minimize or limit what our God is capable of doing. My simple reminder to you is He. Is. Still. Worthy!

Hold out your hand …….

Receive your Mjolnir (your blessings) …..

Remember, He’s (Jesus) is still worthy!

The Freedom of Not Worrying

The Lion King hit theaters in June of 1994. This Disney animated feature follows the adventures of the young lion Simba (Swahili for Lion) the heir of his father, Mufasa over the Pride Lands. Simba’s wicked uncle, Scar, plots to usurp Mufasa’s throne by luring Mufasa and Simba into a stampede of wildebeests. However, Simba escapes, and only Mufasa is killed. Scar orders the hyenas to kill the Simba, but he escapes. Scar tells the pride that both Mufasa and Simba were killed in the stampede and steps forward as the new king, allowing his three hyena minions and the rest of their large pack to live in the Pride Lands. Due to his father’s death, and believing that he is at fault for the death of his father, and the hyenas attempted murder, Simba flees his home in fear and in shame!
Simba collapses in a desert and is rescued by Timon and Pumbaa, a meerkat and a warthog who are fellow outcasts. Simba grows up in the jungle with his two new friends, living a carefree life under the motto “Hakuna Matata.” The popular song starts like this, “Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful Phrase. Hakuna Matata! Ain’t no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s our problem-free philosophy. Hakuna Matata!

Simba’s new friend teach him that he should forget his troubled past and live in the present. “Hakuna Matata” is a Swahili phrase from Tanzania; roughly translated, it means “no worries”. It is formed by the words Hakuna (there is not here) and Matata (plural form of the problem). The phrase is most commonly used in Tanzania and Zanzibar and a little bit of Kenya.

Although this is a powerful and simple application we should apply to our lives, we can find in Philippians 4:6 & 7 a more realistic opportunity to truly have freedom from our worries.

It reads ……

What an assurance and a promise friends! Did you see the steps? Here they are …..

1 – Stop worrying! We were not created to deal with anxiety and worry. This causes us to stress and therefore we weaken our immune systems which cause our body to become sick! God wants for us is the prosper and be in good health! Paul suggests to us to stop worrying before we pray, I believe because if we pray while worrying, it can drastically affect our sincerity in prayer. Fam, stop stressing and stop worrying! Once you do that ….

2 – Just pray! The “original language” word here isn’t just a prayer. It is the understanding that you need to be still and create a position in which you can allow God to step in and do what He said he will do. This period is when God is given the authority to be God in your life! While you are praying …..

3 – Ask/give God your problem Did you know that most people would rather hold on to their issues and problem because it allows them to forever have an excuse! Many people, including myself, love having excuses. It ensures that we can never fully embrace our faults. It allows us to shift blame and not be at fault. So here, we are strongly encouraged to give God ALL of our problems. This allows us to truly have freedom – the freedom of NOT worrying! This ability to have freedom of not worry will result in …..

4 – Be thankful The bible tells us to be thankful in all things. Your ability to show thankfulness regardless of your current or future situation is vital to fully being able to be free! Do you really want to be free?? Be thankful for everything you have and are currently enduring! During your stage of thankfulness …….

5 – God WILL replace, your PROBLEMS with His PEACE! MY GOD!!!! Our God will not leave us void! He is committed to replacing our problems with His peace. I want that switch, how about you?!? But there is something special about this peace because …..

6 – His peace, which compares to nothing earthly, will guard you. This peace is something that should not be easily removed or agitated. This peace is a peace that will guard your heart. Here is the beauty in this. His peace guards the good internally and guards the bad externally. That is to say this – His peace guards JOY, LOVE, KINDNESS, GENTLENESS to stay in your heart AND it guards hate, bitterness, mean and ugly actions from entering in your heart. Only His peace has the ability to have that dual purpose to have us truly be free of worry.

These steps give us the ability to be truly free of worry. It will give us the purpose and chance in life to walk in the path that God has created for us. Just as Simba returns as an adult to take back his homeland from Scar with the help of his friends Timon and Pumbaa, Christ wants us to return to the path He has for us as He handles the “Scars” of our life!

So, let me ask you a question – Do YOU want to be free of worry?

The Endgame: Easter Edition

In the community I live in, the three days that the Christian community pause and reflects on the life, death, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ is also the time in which my University celebrates “Homecoming” or “Alumni Weekend.” This year, in my opinion, was the best Easter and Alumn8 Weekend that I’ve been apart of. On Wednesday, we held a Seven Last Words of Christ Prayer meeting. We had seven speakers who ranged between pastors and students, young and old and women and men, give a short seven minute sermon on Jesus’ last words on the cross – He died for you and I. I was blessed to be selected to preach on the 6th word which is found in John 19:30 and say, “It is finished!”

In Marvel’s Infinity Wars, at the end of the movie Thanos completed what he sought to do from the very begin – remove half of the human population on planet earth. Thanos was only interested in saving “half” of the world. Jesus on the other hand, sought out to save the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE – Past, present, and future! When Jesus said, “It is finished” while being in excruciating pain, he essentially shouted, “This is the end game!”

Below is a short sermon entitled, “It is Finished” and I pray you are blessed!

A Queen’s Queen – Part 3 #MontesTopFierceWomen

I’m my last post about my awesome, beautiful, confident, delightful, elegant and fierce woman, I want to highlight the accomplishments of my wife.

He has History before the meeting! Before meeting Daniella, she was a Police Officer in Fayetteville, North Carolina. In fact, in 2006 I got a speeding ticket for going four miles over the speed limit. I argued with the police officer about the pending ticket and I remembered thinking to myself, “Why is this short cop messing with me? But she is a fine cop, tho!” Guess who this cop was! (Yup – you got it right) My future wife gave her future husband a ticket!! Till this day, she will not admit to giving me a ticket.

We are an Educated Couple! She has a Bachelor’s of Arts in Organizational Leadership, Master’s of Business Administration in Organizational Management Leadership and she is currently a Ph.D. Candidate. She has sparked and ignited my passions for education. In about 6 to 7 years, we will be Drs. Monte and Daniella Newbill, Sr.

We are a Famous Couple! We were featured in Jet Magazine when we got married. We both wanted to be in Jet Magazine Love Weddings as an example of Black Love and we never shared that with one another. One of Daniella’s co-workers brought the magazine to her and showed her. It was great to see the smile on her face and be reminded of just one of the many things I love about her.

We are a Traveling Couple! Before I joined the Army, I had never traveled to another country. Our family trips consisted of traveling to a location within the state. After I joined the Army, I traveled a lot. I’ve had the opportunity to go to California, Texas, Arizona, D.C., Miami, and other places. I’ve had the opportunity to travel overseas to nice places and horrible places, but all of the places were due to Military duty and not for fun. Iraq and Afghanistan is not a place to visit for fun, you hear me!! But my wife saw a chance for me to experience something I’ve never had. During my last deployment for my R&R, she took me on a cruise to the Bahamas. It was fantastic! I have never had such a relaxing time! It changed my life! Since then, she has taken me to Antigua, Dominican Republic, St. Croix, and Mexico. I’m trying to surprise her on a special trip because she deserves it so much!

We have a Bright Future! I am beyond blessed and honored to have this woman to be my bride, my partner, my love and my future. Like any normal couples, we have our good days and we have our days in which we are upset with one another and we don’t want to be around the other. That’s normal! The resilience of marriage is knowing the WHY and the HOW of when issue arise. Ask yourself, “Why am I upset with them?” Or “Why is my spouse upset with me?” Take a moment and actually reflect on it – it will only help the relationship. Then, begin to think about the HOW, “How can I be better?” Or “How can I understand them better?” I often remind my wife during the struggling, the best and most valuable things are created through struggling. The ones that fold under pressure and hardship are the ones that we never see. But the ones that make it out or through have gained value that will last forward. Our marriage is an example of strength and value!

A Queen’s Queen – Part 2 #MontesTopFierceWomen

We officially have two dates that we honor as our “Wedding Anniversary.” On January 15, 2011, our first wedding was labeled a “Military Wedding” where we got married at the Main Post Chapel on Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Daniella had on her Air Force Dress Uniform, and I had on my Army Dress uniform. She had driven from San Antonio, Texas because she had just finished a two-month training course and me, myself, was currently in a training course for my job. Our second wedding was labeled a “Spring Wedding” where we renewed and affirmed our marriage at Highgrove Estate in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina. Oh! What a memory both events has brought us over the years. Even now, family and friends still remind us of the joy, happiness, and fun these weddings brought them and was an example for a few in attendance that love will find a way but more importantly, that God’s will be done!

Enjoying each other’s company at the 44th Medical Command’s Military Ball, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Here is what I mean. Our spring wedding was an outdoor wedding. This means that we expected to have a beautiful sunny day. The weather should be, mid to low 80s and no bugs flying around to disrupt the people in attendance. A cool breeze should blow every once-in-a-while to where it isn’t too hot and not too cold. The day before our wedding, our oldest son preached at a friends church. We had a wonderful family potluck. The food was excellent, and the fellowship was beyond influential. However, about 3:00 pm, the weather alert started to make its notice on our mobile devices. They (the weather app) said that in the Fayetteville, Raleigh, and Durham counties, there would be a 24-hour extreme weather alert for heavy hailing, excessively high winds, tornado warnings, and heavy rains. The location of our wedding was smack-dab in the middle of the most targeted area. We were nervous, and we were concerned because we waited for the “weather clause” which means we wouldn’t get a reimbursement for the weather. We prayed quickly! In fact, this prayer was utterly different from that I have not ever experienced. We all wanted to have a successful and beautiful wedding, and that is what we all prayed for. Guess who led this impactful prayer. None other, than my spiritually fierce woman, Daniella Newbill.

Queen Daniella Newbill in the Carribeans.

Daniella gather everyone together, and we prayed for about 10 to 15 minutes, and we closed the Sabbath out in worship. Daniella and her bridesman all had a hair appointment and other things to do before the night was finished. The fellas and I went to a restaurant and cut-up a bit and had some honest fun. However, the bad weather did not acknowledge our prayers because of the high winds and heavy rains that came. In fact, there were reports of a few tornados touching down around Fayetteville, NC And the area in which we would have our wedding. We were nervous and anxious. However, the next day still showed up.
When we woke up and made our way to the Highgrove Estates, we were mesmerized at the amount of damage we saw. As we got closer to the Highgrove Estates, we realized that we were passing broken and fallen trees and their branches. Debris and such had been blown into others yards, and trash cans were moved to different places; it was a total nightmare! As we embraced for the impact of damage at our venue, our wedding coordinator didn’t make things easier when she called and said, “Just wait, until you guys see this place!” We expected to see a damaged set-up, but to our happiness and joy, it was revealed that through all the bad weather and storming, nothing on the property of the Highgrove Estates damaged, broken or misplaced. My stunning wife texted me, “Our God is Awesome and this my love, is an example of how our marriage will be. In spite of the storm, the winds and the waves and the hail, we will NOT ALLOW those things to distract our heart and our love for one another. This is God’s promise to us! Now let’s enjoy this day!

[WOW! Just typing this, I am tearing up]

You see, besides being beautiful, my wife is spiritual. It is one of my favorite qualities she has been blessed with. Her fierceness does not originate with how she looks externally but rather, how she’s created internally. She has the heart to help people, especially at with the Military as she leads some troops in the Air Force. I’ve seen her cry tears of joy due to the accomplishments of her troops, and I had also seen her cry tears of hurt and sorrow when one of her troops were being mistreated. My Queen, Daniella Newbill is fierce, not JUST because of how she looks, but because of how she allows the Lord to lead her mind, her body and her spirit!

With a woman so nice, I have to cover her twice [more] … more to follow ….

A Queen’s Queen – Part 1 #MontesTopFierceWomen

There I was sitting in the balcony of the church I attended in Fayetteville, North Carolina when I notice this woman. She was sitting on the right side facing the front on the 6th row. She was wearing a peach looking skirt with a design pattern white dressy shirt. Her hair was straight iron flatten that extended just beyond her shoulders. In her lap was a sleeping toddler and sitting on both sides of her were boys, who looked to be about the ages of 8 and nine years old. She was gorgeous! She had amazing-looking eyes, and her smile could melt the icy lands of Antarctica and the North Pole. I was amazed at her beauty, confidence and her mannerisms. She had my attention from the first moment I recognized her!

My Angel – Daniella M. Newbill, MBA

However, it took me approximately six months for me to get close enough to her to introduce myself and ask her for her number. I continued to sit in the balcony of the church and made a mad dash to the church’s lobby to “run” into this fascinating woman – but I failed to see her. Was I trippin’? Did I see an angel that only I could see? Where did she go? These were the questions I pondered out loud and that I wrestled with myself. I became a little depressed and sad to where I began to talk myself out of looking for her! I even self-medicated with what I call, “heart-break transitional” statements. I said things like, “Well, maybe God didn’t want us to meet,” and “A woman that beautiful has to have a man or a husband already – besides, she has children already!” “Maybe she saw me coming, and I wasn’t attracted enough for her, so she’s been dodging me,” and, “I must be unattractive because she doesn’t want to talk to me. I was so distraught that I ended up asking my friend Vanessa, who is like my sister, “Hey, who is that?” as I point to the beautiful women I have been day-dreaming about. Vanessa replied, “Oh, that’s Daniella. She’s cool people. You should go say hello.” So, on this communion Sabbath, I saw her in the lobby, and I made my approach – and it hit the wall. ​

Her oldest son, Joshua, had been baptized the week before and therefore he was able to participate in the foot washing portion with his her. I made a direct bee-line towards here, and as I got close, Joshua saw me, he then taps his 2-year-old brother Michael said, “Look Michael [pointing to me], that’s the man that mommy was talking about. [now looking to me] Hello Mister, my mommy’s in here!!” You talking about someone being on cloud nine!! I was encouraged for sure. I finally got the opportunity to meet this woman, and her name was Daniella M. Chambers. In saving my best for last, allow me the time to cover her fierceness over three post.

My Heart – MSGT Daniella Newbill, 1Sgt in the Alabama Air National Guard

Over the next four to five months, it was the best time of my life as we dated! I had never met or enjoyed a woman like her! We had joined the military around the same time frame in 2003. She was serving in the Air Force while I was serving in the Army. She at the time was a Supply/Logistical Non-commissioned Officer (NCO) while I was a Brigade Chaplain Assistant NCO and Platoon Sergeant. She was from Brooklyn, New York while I was from Jacksonville, Florida. She likes the New York Giants while I was a Jacksonville Jaguars fan. Daniella was the first woman that I would pray for even when we didn’t talk.

I remember asking the Lord that when I was to meet my future wife, that he would be clear and straight with me. One of the ways he told me that I would know if she was the one was for me to “do something that I normally wouldn’t do.” For the first time, we were going to be apart from one another. I was going to West Virginia for a family gathering while she was going to Virginia for that very same reason. I remember telling her to let me know when she got to her final destination safely so that I would know that she and the boys arrived safely and that they are ok. In past relationships, I have NEVER done that. That was confirmation #1!​

I remember another time; she asked me to leave my apartment open for her to come over to relax as she waited for me to be finished working for the day. I trusted her, so I said ok. As I was walking up the stairs to my apartment, I begin to smell the aroma of something special. I wondered to myself, “Where is this smell coming from?” To my amazement and happiness, the smell of love and joy was coming from the kitchen in my apartment. As the doors to my apartment swung open and there, I saw the cooked food – sautéed broccoli, cheese lasagna, and garlic bread! WHOA!!!! And as I fully walked into my apartment, I looked right and then noticed that my once dirty clothes, had “magically” been washed and dried and folded. Even my boxers were neatly arranged and folded. I almost shed a tear. That was confirmation #2!​

January 15, 2011 – Our Military Wedding at the Main Post Chapel in Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

Our first date involved us on a double-date. My best friend and her local best friend each accompanied us to Olive Gardens. You see, Daniella had been a little stand-offish toward me a couple of our interactions at church and “all of a sudden” she wanted to go out. I thought that was suspect, so I offered her to bring a bring, and I would do the same. Our first public meeting together went great! We laughed, we learned, we enjoyed each other and we had some decent food. However, our next date was particularly special. We went and grabbed some takeaway (or to-go depending on where you are from in the USA) from this Mongolia grill that also had great sushi. As we drove and waited for our food and as we drove back to my apartment, this conversation had a different feeling and tone to it – we were talking life. Here is when I did not only fell in love with a fierce woman, but I also discovered that my prayer to God a couple of years ago was in the process of being answered. Here is when that Daniella would be the women who would do me, Monte, the honor of bestowing the name, “Newbill” and being my bride. The aftermath of this date and dinner was confirmation #3 and the final one before marriage.

April 1, 2012 – Our Beautiful Spring Wedding at Highgrove Estate in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina.

With a woman so nice, I have to cover her thrice ……… more to follow …..

A Teacher’s Teacher #MontesTopFierceWomen

The word “fierce” is defined in many ways, but my top three favorites are:
1 – having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness. An example would be, “When Michael Jordan played in the NBA, he was known as a fierce competitor.”
2 – [of the weather or temperature] powerful and destructive. An example of this definition would be, ” Hurricane Andrews was a record-setting phenomenon that was destructive and fierce to the state of Florida.”
3 – showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity. In this definition, you would hear or see, “After a long deployment, Monte kissed his wife Daniella with a fierce, demanding passionate love because he missed her so.” All three of these definitions are relatable and frequently used in our lives. However, today I want to highlight a woman who displayed these vast ranges of the emotions specifically dealing with this word of “fierce.”
You see, this woman was the epitome of what we know to be as an “aggressive and intense” woman. She was actually a terrifying woman if you had to encounter her during one of her infamous tangents! She was also a loud woman. You could always hear her before you would see her! And guess what?? She was only four feet nine inches. She was indeed a terror, but she was incredibly loving. Although she could be very frightening, she would instead choose to be thoughtful, considerate and fun! Now, I have had plenty of excellent and impactful teachers and professors; people who have invested attention and time to me to help me be a better man, leader and a man of God [and the cloth, LOL]. Teachers like Mrs. Carol Byrd, my 3rd-grade teacher at Ephesus Junior Academy in Jacksonville, Florida, who taught me the love of wordplay and witty rhythms and sound of music. Teachers like Mr. Wheeler, my 12th-grade American History Teacher at South Aiken High School; who also happened to be an Army Officer in the Reserves. Professors like Dr. Chandra Mountain, a fellow Florida Gator (I mentally received my degree from the University of Florida) who has encouraged me to own being a writer and who along with her family have prayed for my family and me. Professors like Dr. Gregory Allen, who IS NOT AN EASY PROFESSOR, but is a great professor because he challenges us, as Theology Students, to think and allow the Lord, our God to use us as He sees fit! I am in fact blessed to have had excellent teachers and professors. But this woman, this fierce woman, was the first one to inspire me to commit to being the best I can be – at all times! Her name is Elizabeth DiGiacomo; my fierce woman number 3.

Ms. DiGiacomo was literally a “hands-on” teacher. This was not surprising to her students because not only did she teach us, students, she also cared for 16 horses and ten dogs. She owned about 13 acres of land in the country-side of Aiken, South Carolina. One of her horses was our school’s mascot because we were the South Aiken Thoroughbreds. One of the funniest and shocking things we saw in class happened when one of my classmates fell asleep in class. Mrs. DiGiacomo had one rule, and one rule only that had to be abided by, which was; never go to sleep in her class! Or else! Well, one of my friends had the misfortune of falling asleep while she was teaching her class. Even with her loudness and her out-side speaking tones, my friend STILL fell asleep. At that moment, we had no idea the “punishment” of falling asleep, but we soon found out. Mrs. DiGiacomo, while still teaching, walked up to the student’s desk and this little ole’ women, (who did I mention already, is only four feet nine inches) picked the desk up and flipped this student over in it. We were shocked, and we were scared and now, awake! We did not want to be next.
Mrs. DiGiacomo had [actually has because she is still teaching] a passion for ensuring her student were prepared for life and for the College level. She took the time to meet each one of her student’s at the place where they needed her. It was a sight to behold. For those who were not confident in themselves, she encouraged them and built them up. Those who were too prideful and stuck up, she lovingly places them in their place and reminding them that [their] role can easily be reversed. As an English teacher, she taught genres and literature and grammar and sentence structure and all. But she was also a Life Coach, a therapist, a mediator, a Doctor, a counselor, a guidance counselor, a mother. An auntie and most importantly a friend!

Due to Facebook, I was able to reach about 150 fellow classmates of mine to ask them two questions, (1) “What are your favorite memories of Mrs. DiGiacomo?” and (2) “How did she impact your life?” Let me tell you …. every one of the comments from my friends and classmates suggested this – this woman was an angel who ultimately impacts EVERY ONE OF HER STUDENTS! For that reason, Mrs. DiGiacomo, I appreciate you and I celebrate the fierce woman you are!

The Leader’s Leader #MontesTopFierceWomen

Lieutenant General Nadja Y. West, Surgeon General of the U.S. Army

“Staff Sergeant (SSG) Newbill, your orders have deferred to Fort Bragg, North Carolina and you will be assigned to the 44th Medical Command (MEDCOM) as their Senior Enlisted Chaplain Assistant. You will need to sign in at the Fort Bragg Soldier Reception Center in three days,” was the statement told to me when I attempted to sign into my new duty station. I had mixed emotions and feelings! Happy that I was given three (technically five due to the weekend days) of free leave but also upset that I wasn’t going to my dream job of being a Platoon Sergeant for the Chaplain Assistant Advanced Individual Training (AIT) School at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. This location as only 35 minutes from my parents’ home and being an extrovert, place me in the center of my specific job in the Army along with many friends and foes – working together. This change was hard for me!

The following Monday, as I was conducting my in-processing of Fort Bragg, I already knew who I was replacing and therefore had the opportunity to “pre-meet” my gaining Supervisors, coworkers and my new Soldiers at a Prayer Breakfast sponsored by my soon to be new boss, Chaplain (Major) Dallas Walker. As I was being introduced to a couple of fellow leaders and Soldiers, I notice this attractive tall woman enter into the room. When she entered the room, the entire atmosphere and energy completely changed. The room seemed a little lighter, not as much tension or rushed working happening. She brought into the room a joy and comfort of knowing that she would ensure that each person she greeted would feel a sense of closeness that only best friends and certain family members shared! I ask Chaplain (MAJ) Walker, “Sir, who is that?” He responded with, “She’s our speaker for the prayer breakfast!” I then responded to his statement, “Oh, wow! She’s a Chaplain?” Chaplain (MAJ) Walker chuckled and said, “No, she isn’t. She is the commander of the [Womack Army Medical] Hospital and is the spouse to our incoming Unit’s Commander!” Her name was Colonel Nadja Y. West and she is a fierce Woman!

Lieutenant General (LTG) Nadja Y. West, Surgeon General of the U.S. Army – Official Bio Photo

Nadja West is the current 44th Surgeon General of the United States (U.S.) Army and Commanding General, US Army Medical Command. She has earned the current rank of Lieutenant General (LTG), which means when she was promoted to the rank of Major General (MG), she was the first African-American to achieve the rank of MG in the Army Medical Community, she is the U. S. Army’s first women African-American LTG, the first African-American (man or woman) to be appointed at the Surgeon General of the U. S. Army and she is the highest-ranking women of any race to graduate from the United States Military Academy at West Point. Did you see that? She achieve not, one, not two, or three or even four “first” milestones, but FIVE in all!

Her promotion was the latest milestone in a storied journey that LTG West started as a child in Germany five decades ago. She came into the world a mischlingskinder or “brown baby.” She was one of many children borne of liaisons between African American servicemen and German women. Orphaned as a baby, she was adopted at nine months by Oscar and Mabel Grammer. Oscar Grammer worked as a chief warrant officer in the U.S. Army. Mabel Grammer was a civil rights activist and journalist who, at one point, wrote for the Afro American Newspapers. Together the couple adopted 12 children and raised their children in the nation’s capital with Nadja West being the youngest. But hear me again – her adopted mother was a grandchild of slaves and her father joined the army when it was still segregated. West chose to follow in her father’s career footsteps. She attended the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in engineering. She received a doctor of medicine degree from George Washington University, and later a master’s in National Security and Strategic Studies from the National Defense University. West also holds fellowships with the American Academy of Dermatology and the American Academy of Family Practice. West has held the distinction of being selected to command, which means she was the number one leader of the unit, four highly challenging organization and was also chosen to work in a joint status with other branches of the U.S. Military on two separated occasions. LTG Nadja Y. West is a fierce woman!!

With LTG Nadja Y. West as the 44th Surgeon General of the United States she’s in charge of tens of thousands of medical professionals, and she has significant responsibilities here in the North American Region and overseas that cover health care policies and medical material,” he said. “She’s in charge of organizing and integrating Army-wide healthcare assistance for about two and one-half million people. This former orphaned, African-American history-making woman, has been blessed and charged with this awesome responsibility and that, my friends, is a lot of work, a lot of responsibility, and no one has been doing it better than LTG Nadja Y West! Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that she also manages money? She’s in charge of roughly $14.1 billion as she leads this impactful and life-altering Military unit!

Lieutenant General Nadja Y. West, Surgeon General of the U.S. Army – Fresh off her flight, heading to an Army Medical Convention in NY

The message she presented to us for the Prayer Breakfast was powerful – simple and straight to the point. a lot of clergy could have and should have taken note. I did not get the opportunity to meet and speak to her at this time, but a few years later that opportunity happened. Her husband, Colonel Donald West, was my Commander when I deployed to Afghanistan. While assigned to the Task Force Medical – Afghanistan with COL West, his wife was the Commanding General for Landstuhl Regional Medical Center (LRMC) which is an overseas military hospital operated by the United States Army and the Department of Defense. LRMC is the largest U.S. military hospital outside the contiguous United States. At this hospital, many of the wounded warriors, who have been hurt which deployed come here to receive treatment and recover. One of our Soldiers were severally injured due to a convoy attacked and was flown to LRMC in an effect for their life to be saved. Colonel West received word about a member of his organization and without dwelling on it, he grab myself (the TASK FORCE MED-A Senior Theater Medical Chaplain Assistant), the 1SG of the Unit and we all caught the special “Medical Commanding General Plane” to LRMC. The Unit viewed me as a spiritual leader and asked that I pray and prepare to me with the Religion Support Team at LRMC. Within four hours, we were walking off the plane and into a vehicle that would take us directly to the location of where our Soldier was. However, to our amazement, we were guided to the operating room were we met by Brigadier General (BG) Nadja West, the LRMC Commander. She had more than enough work that needed to be done, but she was down in the emergency rooms and the operating rooms visiting the Soldiers and wounded that she could. I was impressed then, and even thinking about it, I am still impressed by her willingness to provide a “ministry” of presence. For that, and her longstanding military career of milestones and history making and leadership, you LTG Nadja West are one Fierce Woman!

The Preacher’s Preacher #MontesTopFierceWomen

I love to listen to good preaching. I wish to teach Homiletics [the art of preaching or writing sermons] at some University in about 25 years when I have completed with the Pastoral Ministry. Sermons whether listening to in person or listening by way of audio MP3 or looking by way of being in the audience, these sermons were incorporated within my life from an early age and therefore I have heard many sermons that have blessed me and caused me to reflect on my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
Of all the pastors I respect, and of all the preaching, I have heard both my favorite sermon and favorite pastor comes from a woman. She can preach, she has a pastor’s heart and functions phenomenally as a pastor, which in this day and age, you don’t find too many men or women who pastor with the same passion as they preach! This woman is passionate about both preaching God’s word and pastoring God’s children! This woman is beyond exceptional – do you hear me what I said?
She is an educated woman; having her Doctor of Ministry from United Theological Seminary. She is an advocate for her community as she has advised her city council for over eight years. She is a leader as the State of New Jersey has honored her for her superior leadership abilities. She served on a Family Advisory Council of the Montclair Board of Education because of her commitment to Family ministries. She is even an active Chaplain within the World Wide Federal Chaplain s Association. She is, the gifted and humble, faithful servant who has directly impacted my life – Dr. Paula Olivier. My friend, my mentor, my take on a compassionate, spiritual, fierce woman of our world!

Dr. Olivier currently pastors the Ebenezer Seventh-day Adventist church in Freeport, New York. She is regarded highly as one of the best preacher’s preachers and a favorite among the up and coming pastors of our current church. Now, to be viewed as a fierce woman, the activities and actions you do external are not the lone requirements, in my opinion. The inward state is just as important. That is to say this; fierce women are women of actions. They are intentional in how they move about in life. But the best fierce women of this world are those who also have a heart of compassion, love, service, and humbleness! Often, these God-given attributes are overlooked and disregarded as unessential. I beg to challenge this notion! A women’s fierceness does not find it’s foundations on her ability to impress people with what she does, but her fierceness comes from her ability to empower people with “how” she does. You have a compassionate heart, so you treat people compassionately. You have a loving heart, and you love people in spite of themselves. You have a humble spirit, and therefore, people will see that it’s not about your ego – this friends is how I describe a fierce woman. Let me share this story with you.
Back in 2008, when I was deployed to Afghanistan, Kuwait and Iraq and Dr. Olivier were pastoring in New Jersey, I saw a flyer of an event she and her church was sponsoring. One of her guest speakers was a former pastor of the church she was at and the father of my then girlfriend. Unfortunately, I was not able to watch the service because of my location, and I sent the church’s media team an email inquiring about purchasing the DVDs of the event. I was in a different time-zone, and due to this, I sent the email and went to sleep. To my surprise, when I woke up, I discovered a full-blown conversation between the media team and Dr. Olivier. The conclusion to the discussion what this, from Dr. Olivier; “Please get brother Monte’s mailing address and let’s send him the DVDs to this event in questioned and the DVDs to all services conducted this year so far.” This act of kindness and love blew my mind! The total amount Dr. Olivier and her church “donated” to me was over $175.00. Not only did they bless me, but they also blessed those deployed Americans who are Seventh-day Adventist and miss the home flavor preaching!
A few years later, five years to be exact, I met Dr. Olivier face-to-face at the PAstoral Evangelism & Leadership Conference in Huntsville, Alabama on the campus of Oakwood University when I heard, “Hey my brother! Monte! How are you doing? Great to see you!” I felt as if I knew her for my entire life! She empowered me and encouraged me in one swoop. Everything I believed and felt about her was confirmed for me on that evening. Her fierceness isn’t because of how she carries herself – No, sir! No, ma’am! Her fierceness bestowed on her because of how she uplifts, empowers, enriches and encourage others to be the best they can be!

Thank you Dr. Paula Olivier! You will are a true woman of God!

The Lesson of Sit!

I am a busy man! By choice and not by necessity. I am 35 years old. I have been married to a wonderful and beautiful woman for over 8 years. We parent together 3 boys; a 17-year-old, an 11-year-old and a 6-year-old, who are ALL BOYS! (we are working on our girl).

My wife is currently a 1Sgt (pronounced the first sergeant) in the Air Force. I also served for 12.5 years in the Army as a Religious Affairs (formerly known as a Chaplain Assistant) Soldier and Leader. I grew up in a Military family and due to this, my mind has been trained to be busy – all the time! This has impacted me so much so that, when I served in the Military, you could find Monte’s hands in a lot of different jars. One hand was in the Chapel Leader jar. Another hand was in the Non-commissioned officer (NCO) mentor program jar. I also had hands in the Program Manager jar, the Physical Training jar, the Unit’s Financial agenda jar, the Basketball and Football jar, the Platoon Sergeant jar and the Distinctive Faith Group Leader (DFGL) for a worship service on post. This is honestly to name just a few of the jars I had a hand in.

From my earliest memory, I can remember that life is about the hustle and bustle of life. We have to go here, we got to go there. We have to help here and of course, we gotta help there. We have to do the work of the church and in doing that, we are doing the work of the Lord. Even on the day of rest, I did not actually “rested.” Why you may ask me? Here is my answer and thought: Because, I have not learned to rest, relax and “sit” still.

However, in one of my classes, Christian Ministry, II, our professor discussed the importance of “sit” within our lives. It is truly a simple concept but in this kind of world we live in, people would suggest that this is a difficult action to incorporate within our lives. The concept of “sit” is this – a moment was you remain still by sitting and you positively reflect! (Did you see it said positively?) It’s that simple – it’s that easy!

You can reflect on your accomplishments. You can reflect on the relationship(s). You can reflect on how God has been moving within your life. You can even reflect on how you can become a better you! Just make sure you do all of them with positivity being the root, the foundation and the outcome of your “sit!”

With this newfound lesson, I have incorporated SIT in my life. I’m not as easily annoyed by things, I am more relaxed and more importantly, I feel so much healthier! Here is my challenge to you! Take a seat and SIT! Just try it for 20 mins and I promise you, you will never look at being busy the same!


As part of my morning fitness routine, I walk to Planet Fitness to complete an approximately 90 minute workout and then I walk back home. A couple of weeks ago, while walking back from the gym, I walked past this house that normally has a dog in the yard. This dog, whenever I walk past the house and it sees me, it will bark and bark and then bark some more until it cannot see me anymore. But on this morning, there was no fence holding back this dog. The dog barked and it would appear as if the dog noticed that there wasn’t a fence. When the dog noticed this, it ran after me because I had already taken off running. I ran as fast as I could, but unfortunately, that didn’t help. I got tired; remember, I was just returning home from the gym! When I stopped, I turned to receive my fate from the dog. I figured I’d take it like a man! The dog ran up on me, open his mouth and licked! Tail wagging, licking my legs, happy to have caught me and happy to show me some love.

God spoke to me and said these words, “Monte, just as you run because you feared the dog, many of My children are also like you were this morning – running from my love! Many of My children are running from me scared. They are scared that I’m trying to control them. They are scared because they believe I’m asking too much of them. They are scared because they want to live their best life but not have me included! And just as that dog chased you to show you, love , so will I chase you not to scare you, but I want you to receive My love!” Beloved, won’t you stop running scared and let Jesus show you His love?! There is no distance, no obstacles, no fear, no length that God will not go for you to be able to receive God’s love! Nothing will stop His love for you and I. Receive it!

Life’s Object Lesson #1 – Soul Work

My youngest son got a splinter a while ago. I took him to the bathroom and pulled out tweezers, ointment, and a band-aid. When he saw what I was doing he said, “Noooo daddy, just the band-aid dad, I don’t want the other stuff!” I said, “Junior, you need everything for it to be better.” And he emphatically stated, “I👏🏾want👏🏾the👏🏾bandaid 👏🏾daddy!”

Then I thought about something, alot of us are just like my young son. All too often when we have an issue that is deep and we are in need of specialized treatment, we just want the covering (i.e. the band-aid). We don’t want the true healing that must occur internally (i.e. the ointment and the tweezers). I like to call this, “Soul Work” and truly, many of we reject this assistance or worst, we ignore it! We want the covering to hide or mask our pains and we don’t want actually healing.

How can the Eternal One (b.k.a. God), heal what we deny? How can God touch what we cover up? The band-aid is useless if the splinter is still present.

Please, embrace the work of your soul. Don’t deny your pains. Don’t hide them either. Relieve yourself of that burden and give it all to Him and let the master healer pull that splinter and apply the ointment!

An Inside Job #SoulWork #MontesObjectLesson

My father, when he was alive, had been my basketball coach since I was four-years-old. He severed in this role for at least 70 fellas, both teenagers, young men and adults, to include about 45 women and young ladies. He was very much impactful in all of our lives. I even sat down and took note of his “known” coaching record. After about a week of inquiring and reflection, we (many ex-players, my brother and I) agreed that at his death, his record was 154 wins and 21 loses. A lot of coaches would love to have this high percentage success rate as a coach.

Because of his success as our coach, many of us have “basketball related” advice that can also be applied to life suggestions. This one memory, has been one of my favorites, “Monte, to play your best game, ensure you start off in the paint! Post up, play in the paint and work hard! Then, in the second half, after you have caught a good rhythm and consistency, start using your outside game to dominate the entire court. By this time, you can take advantage of the person guarding you, ’cause now, they are to tires to deal with you!” The first time my father suggested this advice, I ended the game with 32 points and our team won the game.

Life application: “Monte, your soul work MUST start on the inside!! After some time, your internal changes will begin to be visibly external to others.”

The truth is, many people want only topical changes. In regards to their visual beauty work, they want to “look” different, they want to “appear” changed, they want to “mask” their blemishes and failures with the likes of makeup and cosmetic surgery. All the while, their character, which is their soul work, is diseased and corrupted. They have no desire to allow their character to be worked on because initially, no one will actually SEE the difference.

Just as I was able to dominate the basketball games by listening to the suggestions of my father, I allowed my game to progress, mature and develop, the same goes for the work of your soul! Soul work takes time, but in the end, people will be able to recognize your internal character and it will normally match your external actions and beauty!

Here the Bottom Line Up Front (B.L.U.F.) Trust the process. Your soul work starts internally and pushes out externally and compliments your character!

Shifted your focus!

A teacher one day wrote the following math related work on the board ….

It’s time to learn a lesson!

As the teacher was righting the mutilation list on the board, the teacher heard the laughter of the students. When the teacher finished, they turned around and asked, “Students, what was so funny?” one of the brave students replied, “We were laughing because you wrote the wrong number up there and you should know better because you are the teacher.” The teacher replying in a manner of love and joy, “I miswrote the first one on purpose because the current lesson isn’t about math, but it’s about life! The lesson for today is about shifting your focus”

Not a math lesson, but a life lesson

The teacher said, “Did you know that your reaction to my mistake is exactly how the world will treat you! If you notice, of all the ones I have written up there, only one is incorrect, and that is the very one you decided to place your focus. The nine correct ones were not your focus, but the lone one that is wrong is the one you chose to point at and tease me. The world will do the same thing to you. You can do the RIGHT thing nine times, but no one will congratulate you, no one will pat you on the back, and no one will affirm what you did RIGHT. However, the one thing you do WRONG will be highlighted, criticized and dismantled because their focus is only on the wrong [thing] problem!”

Let me ask you a question. How many of you do what these students did? It does not have to be towards someone else, and it can reflect towards yourself. You see, the truth is, many of us need a shift of our focus. That is to say, and we need to CHOOSE how we look at the problems in our life! Many of us, have an issue of CHOOSING only to see the wrong in others and even the wrong in ourselves. The problem so deep root that this issue causes us to bypass and overlook that thing that is right in others and ourselves. The right things, the good stuff, the correct actions and events in your life could be, (1) you being a diligent, hard-working student, (2) you try your best in your current relationship, (3) making time to practice what you love, (4) making time to be a shoulder for a friend to lean on, (5) going to lunch with your parents, (6) being a positive role model for your young siblings and many more great and beautiful things. From this day forward, CHOOSE to shift your focus on those “RIGHT THINGS” in your life, with the full awareness that those “WRONG THING” can be corrected at some point.

The wrong in your life (red one) can be changed to be like the right (green ones).

Here are the facts of life for your thought; the world will never appreciate the million and one things you do well, but will undoubtedly criticize the one wrong thing you have done. For yourself, you may not have forgiven yourself of the many wrong decisions in your life, and it may have consumed you to the point that you can’t seem to see the things you have done right in your life. Stay strong and CHOOSE to eliminate your negative outlook and shift it to the positive ones!